I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
