I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Found the puke drawer
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
