I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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