we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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