Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
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