just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
