I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
