you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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