i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
