I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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