can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
