The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize