Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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