Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You need a sexual gate keeper
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
