So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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