At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
