You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
