I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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