Grow some girl-balls and come out already
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
