Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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