That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
well you can't waste a boner
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
