worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
