Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Randomize
