turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
no you cant smoke seaweed
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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