what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
