So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
