I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
