He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize