Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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