I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS