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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy

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• (858): View more from California

  i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life

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• (516): View more from New York

  I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.

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• (949): View more from California

  Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.

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• (805): View more from California

  I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency

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• (518): View more from New York

  How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?

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