Texts From Last Night

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  (319): View more from Iowa

  In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.

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  (319): In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums. http://tfl.nu/weac
  Replies (36) Good night (7035) Bad night (735)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  Wasn't he an English major?

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  (703): He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him. (1-703): Wasn't he an English major? http://tfl.nu/vbmk
  Replies (12) Good night (1225) Bad night (5046)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once

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  (651): i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once http://tfl.nu/7d16
  Replies (14) Good night (4271) Bad night (1907)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot

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  (630): You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot http://tfl.nu/u2s7
  Replies (8) Good night (4441) Bad night (879)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.

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  (404): He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful. http://tfl.nu/q2qd
  Replies (22) Good night (9634) Bad night (1114)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.

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  (+44): I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating. http://tfl.nu/brik
  Replies (8) Good night (1187) Bad night (2615)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?

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  (816): Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation? http://tfl.nu/p01u
  Replies (2) Good night (2480) Bad night (747)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does

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  (239): Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does http://tfl.nu/6lq0
  Replies (6) Good night (2332) Bad night (901)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.

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  (781): Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad. http://tfl.nu/2wvl
  Replies (20) Good night (1666) Bad night (5145)
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  (951): View more from California

  My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room

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  (951): My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room http://tfl.nu/wnm7
  Replies (26) Good night (4685) Bad night (1341)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.

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  (412): I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila. http://tfl.nu/4mhj
  Replies (3) Good night (1912) Bad night (1070)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.

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  (647): I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat. http://tfl.nu/9m2y
  Replies (3) Good night (825) Bad night (584)
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  (209): View more from California

  Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel

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  (209): Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel http://tfl.nu/1v3g
  Replies (15) Good night (1322) Bad night (452)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before

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  (775): We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before http://tfl.nu/k21e
  Replies (4) Good night (1082) Bad night (312)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.

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  (204): As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry. http://tfl.nu/4c2f
  Replies (0) Good night (590) Bad night (251)

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