Texts From Last Night

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  (509): View more from Washington

  Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.

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  (509): Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN. http://tfl.nu/p4en
  Replies (19) Good night (4221) Bad night (495)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back

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  (920): dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back http://tfl.nu/zgqj
  Replies (32) Good night (784) Bad night (3213)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love

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  (610): Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love http://tfl.nu/hgdf
  Replies (86) Good night (7494) Bad night (1800)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.

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  (781): i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up. http://tfl.nu/navv
  Replies (12) Good night (4778) Bad night (782)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.

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  (708): If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal. http://tfl.nu/hb9y
  Replies (19) Good night (4699) Bad night (1420)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?

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  (352): Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house? http://tfl.nu/bc2r
  Replies (14) Good night (9687) Bad night (2441)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.

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  (407): I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls. http://tfl.nu/jhsp
  Replies (6) Good night (1610) Bad night (740)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played

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  (216): Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played http://tfl.nu/8t1m
  Replies (7) Good night (1837) Bad night (1073)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina

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  (914): I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina http://tfl.nu/2aox
  Replies (9) Good night (1314) Bad night (685)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  He looks like he'd be great Lego character.

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  (864): He looks like he'd be great Lego character. http://tfl.nu/ysvh
  Replies (8) Good night (1352) Bad night (742)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?

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  (902): I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat? http://tfl.nu/t6q6
  Replies (5) Good night (930) Bad night (380)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.

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  (719): If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget. http://tfl.nu/97vy
  Replies (2) Good night (702) Bad night (396)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.

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  (973): Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year. http://tfl.nu/l5j5
  Replies (3) Good night (815) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.

  (1-706): View more from Georgia

  You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Touche.

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  (706): To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid. (1-706): You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man. (706): Touche. http://tfl.nu/xj0m
  Replies (4) Good night (1036) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.

  (1-773): View more from Illinois

  you win some, you lose some.

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  (773): we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio. (1-773): you win some, you lose some. http://tfl.nu/xyso
  Replies (2) Good night (402) Bad night (429)

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