Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"

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(713): View more from Texas

I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.

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(416): View more from Toronto

Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.

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(801): View more from Utah

On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(415): View more from California

There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.

(415): View more from California

No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans

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(330): View more from Ohio

After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.

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(434): View more from Virginia

For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.

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