Texts From Last Night

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  (302): View more from Delaware

  i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.

  (1-302): View more from Delaware

  you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.

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  (302): i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace. (1-302): you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING. http://tfl.nu/vhdb
  Replies (47) Good night (757) Bad night (2366)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.

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  (402): So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me. (1-402): Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it? (402): Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point. http://tfl.nu/yxzg
  Replies (62) Good night (1111) Bad night (2994)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl

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  (314): Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl http://tfl.nu/2p2x
  Replies (43) Good night (2781) Bad night (670)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.

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  (954): Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with. http://tfl.nu/j18n
  Replies (13) Good night (1900) Bad night (3362)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.

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  (773): Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success. http://tfl.nu/jhei
  Replies (43) Good night (4206) Bad night (1676)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.

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  (781): So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger. (603): Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat. http://tfl.nu/6067
  Replies (19) Good night (6725) Bad night (1140)
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  (760): View more from California

  My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?

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  (760): My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this? http://tfl.nu/9ow4
  Replies (8) Good night (7338) Bad night (990)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring

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  (561): u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring http://tfl.nu/ljb6
  Replies (10) Good night (2808) Bad night (752)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it

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  (330): You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it http://tfl.nu/ejzt
  Replies (6) Good night (1026) Bad night (481)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi

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  (210): please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi http://tfl.nu/ocwi
  Replies (3) Good night (1213) Bad night (471)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"

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  (780): They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge" http://tfl.nu/puda
  Replies (5) Good night (729) Bad night (1242)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands

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  (845): Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands http://tfl.nu/8ta4
  Replies (6) Good night (1386) Bad night (399)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking

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  (812): I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking http://tfl.nu/99b5
  Replies (4) Good night (874) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I believe they call that patchouli.

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  (631): Whatever she smells like compost and feathers. (508): I believe they call that patchouli. http://tfl.nu/ql5w
  Replies (7) Good night (622) Bad night (748)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"

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  (860): We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?" http://tfl.nu/8tlk
  Replies (2) Good night (521) Bad night (219)

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