i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
