Texts From Last Night

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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers

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  (920): Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers http://tfl.nu/3qjt
  Replies (22) Good night (1075) Bad night (644)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.

  (224): View more from Illinois

  I'm with your mom on this one.

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  (847): my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel. (224): I'm with your mom on this one. http://tfl.nu/c28m
  Replies (9) Good night (1203) Bad night (3094)
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  (650): View more from California

  i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.

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  (650): i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text. http://tfl.nu/726d
  Replies (44) Good night (1380) Bad night (4053)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.

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  (+44): It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty. http://tfl.nu/g5dx
  Replies (22) Good night (914) Bad night (6395)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity

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  (403): There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity http://tfl.nu/85sl
  Replies (9) Good night (3959) Bad night (1446)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Dude you has no fucking this poptart

  (719): View more from Colorado

  What?

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I dont know to explain this.

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  (843): Dude you has no fucking this poptart (719): What? (843): I dont know to explain this. http://tfl.nu/kk1s
  Replies (35) Good night (6836) Bad night (1594)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance

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  (815): I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance http://tfl.nu/h8yt
  Replies (28) Good night (6215) Bad night (1857)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light

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  (203): Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light http://tfl.nu/z2qb
  Replies (5) Good night (2140) Bad night (1237)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight

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  (905): I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight http://tfl.nu/g5pa
  Replies (2) Good night (1686) Bad night (930)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.

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  (434): He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face. http://tfl.nu/h6c3
  Replies (13) Good night (1201) Bad night (2291)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.

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  (479): Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals. http://tfl.nu/0t02
  Replies (2) Good night (642) Bad night (319)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.

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  (651): I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different. http://tfl.nu/w3bu
  Replies (4) Good night (394) Bad night (569)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.

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  (864): He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal. http://tfl.nu/lm83
  Replies (1) Good night (402) Bad night (550)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.

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  (402): You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton. http://tfl.nu/mhhg
  Replies (3) Good night (492) Bad night (283)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.

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  (+61): You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk. http://tfl.nu/xuxz
  Replies (1) Good night (438) Bad night (179)

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