U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
