I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
