You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
