But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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