U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I got chris browned last night
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
