Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
