I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
