Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
