I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
