I didn't shave. On purpose
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
