listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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