corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
