wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
