I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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