Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
