sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I had to cum in my sink.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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