Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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