Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
