your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Drunk is not a location!
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
