yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
