Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
