I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
time to smoke my breakfast
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
