i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize