so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
