We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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