No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
