Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
