I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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